“Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.”
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Rainy weather the pass week, the sky just decides when it wants to rain or whatever.

All attempts have failed
All my heads are tails
She’s got teary eyes
I’ve got reasons why

It’s a slow process on how we learn to stand back on our own two feet sometimes.
The weather these few days feels alot more forgiving than it use to be.

I’m glad that i have my “WALL” of friends sometimes. you guys just crack me up sometimes.

These days pass me by
I dream with open eyes
Nightmares haunt my days
Visions blur my nights
I’m loosing ground and gaining speed
I’ve lost myself or most of me
I’m headed for the final precipice

But you haven’t lost me yet
You haven’t lost me yet
I’ll sing until my heart caves in

No you haven’t lost me yet
If it doesn’t break
If it doesn’t break
If it doesn’t break your heart is it love?
No, if it doesn’t break your heart it’s not enough
It’s when you’re breaking down with your insides coming out
That’s when you find out what your heart is made up of

 

yup, i finally found out what it was made off.

“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write.” 
Anais Nin

The title is taken from  Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope.

Rated 93% on rotten tomatoes.
Despite the set being on a snowy ice-cy month of february.

Still has that sunshine kinda feeling to it.
a small background on what this movie is about:

Joel Barish(Jim Carrey), heartbroken that his girlfriend Clementine(Kate Winslet)  underwent a procedure to erase him from her memory, decides to do the same. However, as he watches his memories of her fade away, he realizes that he still loves her, and may be too late to correct his mistake. as Joel’s memories progressively disappear, he begins to rediscover their earlier passion.

 Jim carrey, wasn’t really JIM CARREY in this one.  i think both actors portrayed the characters really well.

The soundtrack? one word. Heavenly.
who would have thought a track only lasting 1 minute could have so much emotions and impact.

Kudos to Jon Brian, the composer of most of the tracks on the soundtrack.

Like i said, it’s appealing once again.
Like 500 days of summer, it is told from a Guy’s point of view.

Joel: Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one. 

Most of the movie takes place in joel’s mind.
on how he decided he could not bear the thought of having clementine being complete erased from his memories, runs. but in the end having to just succumb it all.

Amazing ending i’d say. catch the movie!

 i guess in every good thing, there is always some bad times. Bad times compliments the Good things in what we do, what we see.
you can’t really appreciate something till is gone, out of your hands.

———————–

been doing alot of writing lately. 
in the car, waiting in the car, bus stop, during lunches, in between breaks.

 had a chance to take a bus back the other day. sat next to a girl, who looked like she was about to break into tears..

“I wished you smile more.. who stole the fire in your eyes? I guess she lost something as well.
you and i both, we lost it. we lost it. we really lost it, now didn’t we?” 

a total stranger, what could i do?

Wrote a note.
Just before i left the bus, the note landed in her hands.

I din’t see her reaction or anything.

“Just hang on, you’ll pull through.”

Something written to myself, i guess she needs it more than i do.

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I’ve gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut… but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had… I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don’t know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like… it was above my head, I don’t know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said “so go.” With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I’m sorry.
Joel: It’s okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There’s no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let’s pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you…
Clementine: Meet me… in Montauk…

-Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind

—————————

People always walk out the door.
People always leave..

Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let’s pretend we had one.

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
“Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;”
Desires compos’d, affections ever ev’n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav’n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp’ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th’ unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav’nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day.

It’s very real.

I don’t sleep well, i don’t eat well.

Joel: I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

-Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

…..

“Congratulations”
“Happy birthday, my dear sweet heart”
“Well done! better days to come!”

I stood there flipping through greeting cards.
Greeted by multiple shades of pink, white. just colors.
Poems, words.

Overused phrases, and words.

One by one, i took off the stack gave it a read and then placing it back on the rack.

i can’t continue this post, like how i can’t continue reading on this afternoon.
Dropped the card on the floor and left.
somethings i won’t understand, and never will.

Cards can’t do justice to what a person wants to say.
what i wanna say.

“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.” – Blaise Pascal

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh…

Oh…Oh…Oh…Oh…

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you’d die to heal
The hope that starts the broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh…

-Best of you
Foo fighters

Thanks Leona! =)