The Story

Gung gung, poh poh.

i wonder how are you. sorry that i could not make it the other day.
having been putting flowers where you both are every christmas is something i look forward to every year.
i’ll make it up soon yeah?

Gung gung,

i’m doing good.
i’ll be a better son to dad, i’m still trying. even from young you taught me to love you, older people.
it’s been a good 6 years. sometimes i really wished you are still around, you’ll be really proud of me being able to drive you around instead of you driving me. driving pass the taman mayang playground the other day reminded me of alot of times you came searching for me when i was out late playing football or running wild. haha..

6 years, I’m taking care of Kenji pretty well. at least i hope i’m doing a good job.
dad said the same thing that you been telling me
“be good to your brother, he looks up to you.”

Poh poh,

I miss you poh poh, you have no idea how much. i wished i had spent more time with you every time i came back to KL back in the days. wished i spent longer nights just sitting down and talking to you.

I’m still good. I’ve been driving for quite some time already.
i wished i could have been the one to drive you to the market every morning. i really do.

“don’t get married too young ah ben, must look for a girl who can look after you and care for you. most importantly loves you as much as you love her. both of you have to love God.” was the last thing you said to me before i left for KK after the hols. I’ve been a real good boy. =)
you must have really miss gung gung alot to go so quickly. i’m not sure if you were hearing me when i was talking to you most of the time when you were in a coma. was hoping that if i held your hand long enough, you would wake up. but poh poh, even till today. i can’t say this enough but i miss you. i really really do..

Gung gung, poh poh.

i’ll be turning 21 next month. i’ll pay a visit soon.
poh poh, i still owe you that angel flower holder, i found one the other day. i know you’ll love it.


ah ben.

I don’t remember seeing fear in your eyes
When you were fading
The day we said our goodbyes
It’s easy to say that there’s a reason for this
Much harder to know
That what we say is true

Everything we hold could someday slip away

I want you to know
I’m leaving to let you go
And someday we’ll walk upon
The streets of gold

-Streets of Gold
Need to breathe


The title is taken from  Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope.


Rated 93% on rotten tomatoes.
Despite the set being on a snowy ice-cy month of february.

Still has that sunshine kinda feeling to it.
a small background on what this movie is about:

Joel Barish(Jim Carrey), heartbroken that his girlfriend Clementine(Kate Winslet)  underwent a procedure to erase him from her memory, decides to do the same. However, as he watches his memories of her fade away, he realizes that he still loves her, and may be too late to correct his mistake. as Joel’s memories progressively disappear, he begins to rediscover their earlier passion.

 Jim carrey, wasn’t really JIM CARREY in this one.  i think both actors portrayed the characters really well.

The soundtrack? one word. Heavenly.
who would have thought a track only lasting 1 minute could have so much emotions and impact.

Kudos to Jon Brian, the composer of most of the tracks on the soundtrack.


Like i said, it’s appealing once again.
Like 500 days of summer, it is told from a Guy’s point of view.

Joel: Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one. 

Most of the movie takes place in joel’s mind.
on how he decided he could not bear the thought of having clementine being complete erased from his memories, runs. but in the end having to just succumb it all.


Amazing ending i’d say. catch the movie!

 i guess in every good thing, there is always some bad times. Bad times compliments the Good things in what we do, what we see.
you can’t really appreciate something till is gone, out of your hands.



been doing alot of writing lately. 
in the car, waiting in the car, bus stop, during lunches, in between breaks.

 had a chance to take a bus back the other day. sat next to a girl, who looked like she was about to break into tears..

“I wished you smile more.. who stole the fire in your eyes? I guess she lost something as well.
you and i both, we lost it. we lost it. we really lost it, now didn’t we?” 

a total stranger, what could i do?

Wrote a note.
Just before i left the bus, the note landed in her hands.

I din’t see her reaction or anything.


“Just hang on, you’ll pull through.”

Something written to myself, i guess she needs it more than i do.

Where have the days gone?

Funny how old photos can just pop out of no where. seriously, it stuns me sometimes but yeah.

just go woah……..


Yes. i know. Dancing? yes. i did.

When daniel was half-size.

CF camp. good times. apparently, they follow and learn from the leader. guess who is the leader. 


This really made me miss you guys like seriously.

What a roller coaster ride!

Picture 1

and you get 500 days of summer.

93% on rotten tomatoes. thats like super wow.


It’s not that simple. – Tom


Here am i at the cross roads
Which one should i take?
the wide or the narrow?
the deep or the shallow?


“i’ve picked the  narrow road, the one which has no comfort and you’re led to just rely. just believe. just trust in what God is doing”

Honestly, i’m scared.
Having to make a decision and having to follow through.
Thats something you can say, it’s really Christ like. You don’t see Jesus just decided to stop going to the cross and say
“hey, you know what it’s just too hard and painful. i’ll turn back now.”

and i’m glad He din’t.

and He handled it well.

But if it takes having to live for that one bigger purpose and willing to just fight for it.

i’ll do it.

so here we go……


Funny how you can sit across all you ever dream and hope for.

and still fumble on words.
Like how it goes.

“The perfect words never cross my mind and there was nothing in there but you.”
Sounds silly i know.

maybe i am silly. heh.

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